EvilGM: /* The Altdorf Gazette */

2026-01-27T13:21:36Z

The Altdorf Gazette

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	[[file:AltdorfGazette_Iddue5.png\|~~100px~~\|alt=Issue 5 cover]]
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EvilGM: /* The Altdorf Gazette */

2026-01-27T13:19:58Z

The Altdorf Gazette

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:19, 27 January 2026
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	'''18th Vorgeheim, 2524 IC'''		'''18th Vorgeheim, 2524 IC'''
	'''Altdorf'''		'''Altdorf'''
			[[file:AltdorfGazette_Iddue5.png\|100px\|alt=Issue 5 cover]]
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EvilGM: Created page with "= The Altdorf Gazette = ''Truth. Tradition. Tremendous Overconfidence.'' ''Established 2302 IC'' ---- '''Morning Edition''' '''18th Vorgeheim, 2524 IC''' '''Altdorf''' ---- == Felswald Holds Fast! == === Noble Knockers Triumph in Controversial Blood Bowl Clash === ''Gnawbone Reavers Fall, 1–0'' ''Match Continues Despite “Minor Substructural Complications”'' ''By Otto Blitzenquill, Senior Pitch-Side Reporter'' ---- FELSWALD — The Noble Knockers defe..."

2026-01-27T13:18:23Z

Created page with "= The Altdorf Gazette = ''Truth. Tradition. Tremendous Overconfidence.'' ''Established 2302 IC'' ---- '''Morning Edition''' '''18th Vorgeheim, 2524 IC''' '''Altdorf''' ---- == Felswald Holds Fast! == === Noble Knockers Triumph in Controversial Blood Bowl Clash === ''Gnawbone Reavers Fall, 1–0'' ''Match Continues Despite “Minor Substructural Complications”'' ''By Otto Blitzenquill, Senior Pitch-Side Reporter'' ---- FELSWALD — The Noble Knockers defe..."

New page

= The Altdorf Gazette =
''Truth. Tradition. Tremendous Overconfidence.''
''Established 2302 IC''

----

'''Morning Edition'''
'''18th Vorgeheim, 2524 IC'''
'''Altdorf'''

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== Felswald Holds Fast! ==
=== Noble Knockers Triumph in Controversial Blood Bowl Clash ===
''Gnawbone Reavers Fall, 1–0''
''Match Continues Despite “Minor Substructural Complications”''

''By Otto Blitzenquill, Senior Pitch-Side Reporter''

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FELSWALD — The Noble Knockers defended their home turf in spectacular fashion, securing a narrow but decisive 1–0 victory over the visiting Gnawbone Reavers in a Blood Bowl match already being described by league officials as “entirely acceptable” and by eyewitnesses as “deeply concerning.”

The lone touchdown came late in the second half when Blitzer '''Hugo “Brickjaw” Falkenrath''' smashed through the Reavers’ defensive line and carried the ball across the goal line through claw, tail, and at least one misplaced ratman. Crowd morale soared. Referees remained upright. Victory was declared.

Then the screaming started.

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== Shadows Beneath the Pitch ==
=== Unauthorized Activity Discovered Below Field ===

Unconfirmed but persistent reports indicate that, during play, a group of local “volunteers” uncovered a concealed chamber beneath the Felswald Blood Bowl Stadium. Within this subterranean space, witnesses describe multiple snotlings operating a massive magnet apparently designed to influence the movement of the match ball.

Sources confirm the device was disabled before it could affect the final drive. The snotlings fled into drainage tunnels shortly thereafter, squealing and abandoning several pieces of inadvisable engineering.

League officials insist the interruption was brief, controlled, and “in no way relevant to the final score.”

The Gnawbone Reavers have categorically denied all involvement.

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== “We Win on the Pitch, Not Under It” ==
'''— Lothar Krumm, Team Captain, Noble Knockers'''

Captain Krumm praised the crowd, the groundskeepers, and “those brave souls who did what needed doing, wherever that was.”

The Blood Bowl Commission has announced a formal inquiry, which is expected to conclude sometime after the next comet.

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== Match Statistics (Official) ==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Category !! Result
|-
| Touchdowns || Noble Knockers 1 – Gnawbone Reavers 0
|-
| Fatalities || Within Acceptable Limits
|-
| Referees Lost || Acceptable
|-
| Magnets || NONE FOUND (OFFICIALLY)
|}

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== Small Print ==
''The Altdorf Gazette reminds readers that all matches sanctioned by the Blood Bowl Commission are fair, regulated, and in no way influenced by hidden machinery, arcane interference, bribery, or underground greenskin labor.''

The Altdorf Gazette/Issue 05 - Revision history

EvilGM: /* The Altdorf Gazette */

EvilGM: /* The Altdorf Gazette */